Sunday, September 12, 2010

After The Love Has Gone, Only Fools Carry On...

The title of this post is from a song called After The Love Has Gone by British pop group Steps (who I doubt that you have heard of). But, damn, is it ever true, huh? This line has been running through my head for a loooonngg time now & I finally decided to quote Alice and say "It's Time!"

The Team Jacksper blog is officially dead in the water, as far as I am concerned. You've probably noticed by the complete lack of posts for a while that something is up, but now you know. Dear Jackson Rathbone and his arrogant smirk just doesn't quite do it for me anymore. With or without the guitar. I certainly feel absolutely NO inclination to go looking for pictures of him for you like I used to. And when I do on rare occassion venture into JRO or JRS, I see the pics & just think "Meh..." Now, before you go lambasting me for what I've said, there are other factors involved here which have made the point of my blog null & void, so needless to say, I have been losing interest for quite some time now. I am a sensitive soul & when I feel that what I am doing is pointless and my feelings get hurt, my natural inclination is to want to get the fuck out ASAP.

I will be leaving the blog up as is, since I put a shit load of work into it & it is rather heart-breaking to have whatever hard work you've invested lots of time in being kicked to the curb, but I will be making some changes at some stage. I have yet to decide what those changes will be. They might be focused on the AH Edward fanfic kick I am on at the moment & also the fact that reading those, while  imagining the beautifulness that is Robert Pattinson is just pure bliss. I've also been reading a lot of humorous fics lately, because RL is becoming slightly too much for me to take & I've been going through a terrible time emotionally & I really need a break from the seriousness. But when the "fun" of the fandom starts hurting you too, sometimes as much as RL does, then it's time to take a step back, you know? I know this may all sound very melodramatic, but let me tell you, when it's all that has been keeping you going for months & sometimes the only thing that made you feel like you had a purpose in this great big fuckery called life, then it hurts a fucking lot when you feel the need to let it go.

So I will be giving it some more thought & I will let you know what I've come up with, that is if you still want to stick around. I know there have been quite a few of you who have left me some wonderfully encouraging comments & I appreciate it more than I can ever say. I may mess around with the layout of the blog, but I've come to realize that I'm only really good with the pictures & banners, so Lord knows what kind of a stuff-up I'll make. Hold thumbs for me not to fuck it up totally, ok? Anyway, I think that's all I have to say. I have poured my heart out & have probably made a HUGE fool of myself in the process, but that's okay. I'm used to feeling like a fool. It's what I do in my spare time, after all.

And with that, I leave you with one of my all-time favorite Oasis songs, featuring Rhys Ifans (the rather fantastic Spike from Notting Hill)  in the video. It's very profound... watch it. 'Til next time, whenever that may be.

Oasis - The Importance Of Being Idle


VngncStrkr said...

Wow, I am so sorry you are stuck in a rut it seems. Now I understand a little better why I haven't been able to reach you. RL can really take a toll and whatever you are going through I feel awful it's happening.

I for one would like to say that although it will be disappointing, I understand you stepping away. If your heart isn't in it then what can one do.

Good luck with the revamp, maybe Rob will bring back that smile that's been forgone.

TwitardedMom said...

First, let me say how much I've appreciated all your hard work on Team Jacksper. Even my son has appreciate many posts.

More importantly,it's your blog and you have to go where your heart leads you. I could not have gone as long as you have just focusing on one person. I sincerely hope you find whatever makes you happy. RL is hard enough, you need to be happy with what you do in your spare time.

Feel free to drop me a line anytime as you are working thru what to do next.

I look forward to seeing what you do next.

Sweet T said...

First of all, sending you big, giant, bone-crushing hugs. Seems RL is an utter bitch to everyone lately. She better watch her back, that's all I'm saying...
As for the blog, I'll always check it out, no matter what you post. Your banners etc have always been amazing, and I love to see what you do. Not to mention your humor is right in line with mine, so I always get a kick out of your posts.
Take care of yourself, my dear friend. I miss you lots.